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Grateful Footsteps

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Here is a tool for greatness: Watch a truly righteous person very carefully and observe what he does in order to emulate him.

Today, think of three great people that you know, heard of, or have read about. What can you learn from each one?

-see Vilna Gaon – Proverbs 12:26;
-Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
from the “Today’s Daily Lift” series
“Study and Emulate Great People”
Aish.com

G‑d is not understandable. But G‑d ponders Himself. And this mode of pondering Himself He gave to us, dressed in many stories and rituals and ways of life.

Dressed in those clothes we become G‑d, pondering Himself.

-Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
“Dressed in G-d’s Clothes”
Based on letters and talks of the Rebbe
Rabbi M. M. Schneerson
Chabad.org

It’s one thing to attempt to gain some wisdom by studying the teachings of the wise and righteous and another thing entirely to “become God pondering Himself.”

Or is there?

I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church. –1 Corinthians 4:14-17 (ESV)

You may think it was odd that Paul said to “be imitators of me” rather than to be imitators of Christ. I’d have to guess at his motivations, but if he understood the discipleship model, then he understood that the teachings of a great Master or Rebbe are passed down from teacher to student multi-generationally. Paul never directly studied under Jesus, but in some manner we don’t fully comprehend, Jesus was indeed his teacher and Paul became the teacher to the Gentiles, passing on the wisdom of the Messiah. In some way, through Paul and the Bible, we have become students of our Master as well.

But there could be many other reasons why Paul phrased his comment to the Corinthians the way he did. It may have to do with how Jesus almost exclusively taught Jewish disciples and how Paul, knowing he was to teach primarily the Gentiles, may have adapted what he taught relative to the requirements of the Goyim, God, and the Torah. But I’m not going to get into that today. I’m not going to get into the mechanics of what God does or doesn’t want us to do in the specific details of our worship and religious practice.

I want to talk about living.

Then, when she was 38, she married Bruce, the man of her dreams. Bruce shared custody of his three daughters from his first marriage, so Julie happily found herself the dedicated mother of a close-knit family. Bruce was a successful professional. They lived comfortably in a big house in an upscale suburb. For ten years, Julie was living her dream.

On a wintery morning in 2009, the dream abruptly ended. Bruce, 48 years old, fell down stairs and hit his head. He died almost immediately.

The shock of her husband’s death was followed by another shock. Of his three life insurance policies, he had let two of them lapse. This included the largest policy, which would have supported his three daughters. Bruce had also neglected to write a will, and to change the beneficiary of his retirement accounts after his first wife divorced him.

By law, half of the large house and Bruce’s other assets should have gone to his first wife, but she and her daughters sued Julie and managed to get 100%, leaving Julie with nothing. Even worse, she turned Bruce’s daughters against Julie. Almost overnight, Julie lost her husband, her close-knit family, her house, and her financial security.

Naturally, Julie felt angry and resentful. “Throughout the entire two and a half years of litigation,” she recalls, “I knew I needed to plug the anger and resentment. At the same time I didn’t want to. I wanted to wallow in my misery. I wanted to make others miserable along with me.

-Sara Yoheved Rigler
“The Power of Gratitude”
Aish.com

I probably wouldn’t have written today’s mediation this way if Rachelle Dawson hadn’t made the following comment on yesterday’s morning meditation:

Making a list of all the sins and faults I’ve been forgiven helps me to put things back in perspective. If I have been forgiven so much, it shouldn’t be such a big thing to show compassion and mercy to others. Anything I give pales in comparison to the compassion I’ve received.

Sara Rigler’s full article is too long to quote here in its entirety, so I encourage you to click the link I provided above and read all of its content. However, what I’m suggesting is that, in emulating great people, we might not always choose people who hold a lofty position in academia or in the clergy. We might instead, find our inspiration in a middle-aged, deaf Jewish woman who has been divorced, widowed, who has lost her home and her job, her once-loving step-children, and who has struggled to find anything at all to be grateful for.

Julie realized that she was standing at a crossroads. She could spend the rest of her life in anger and bitterness or she could choose to grateful and happy. “I decided that I needed to find a way back to my former, positive self, “ she explains. “So I started to practice gratitude as an antidote to my anger.”

We learn from Rigler’s article that the 19th century Rabbi Natan of Breslov taught that complaining about a problem seems to perpetuate your suffering while thanking God for everything, including the problem from which you’re suffering, seems to make the problem vanish.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. –1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV)

Who is rich? One who is satisfied with his lot. –Pirkei Avot 4:1

While naturally, we should seek to be like those wise and righteous people who came before us; like Paul, Peter, and most of all, like our Master and Teacher Jesus, we may find, if we’re paying attention, that wise, thoughtful, and compassionate people are all around us. Often, they’re the ones who have suffered the most and yet continually thank God for many things.

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought. -Matsuo Basho

Seek gratitude.

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Visions of Inner Pain and Beauty

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When dealing with a person you find difficult, keep in mind that this person’s way of behaving and thinking might be causing him to suffer even more than he is causing you to suffer. See life from his point of view – and be compassionate.

“Understanding Difficult People”
-for more essays on this topic
see Rabbi Pliskin’s “Gateway to Self Knowledge,” p.203
quoted from Aish.com

Last week I wrote on this topic in my “meditation” Blessing the Nudnik. But since the term nudnik has negative connotations, and since I have dedicated all of my meditations this week to topics and themes that are positive and uplifting, I thought I’d take advantage of a few quotes from Aish.com to come at this concept from a different angle.

First of all, I’m willing to believe that the vast, vast majority of people I consider to be “difficult” don’t see themselves that way at all. In fact, in any disagreement between them and me, I don’t doubt for a second that they see themselves as “in the right” and view me as the difficult person.

And I probably am a difficult person to deal with, at least sometimes (see my wife for a full and unedited list of my faults…I say that somewhat tongue-in-cheek).

I’m not a perfect person. No, not even close. I can be wrong. And I have been wrong.

So, as I said yesterday, an awareness that we can be difficult people, that we can have shortcomings, that we can feel hurt and disappointment, and that we can be unfair and unkind, should allow us to feel empathy for those people who are like us and sometimes act in a “difficult” manner.

But of course, that requires a great deal of painful personal honesty and the ability to publicly make use of that awareness, thus becoming vulnerable to others who may take advantage of our self-exposure.

But then again…

There is no person on earth so righteous, who does only good and does not sin. –Ecclesiastes 7:20

Reading the suggestions for ridding oneself of character defects, someone might say, “These are all very helpful for someone who has character defects, but I do not see anything about myself that is defective.”

In the above-cited verse, Solomon states what we should all know: no one is perfect. People who cannot easily find imperfections within themselves must have a perception so grossly distorted that they may not even be aware of major defects. By analogy, if a person cannot hear anything, it is not that the whole world has become absolutely silent, but that he or she has lost all sense of hearing and may thus not be able to hear even the loudest thunder.

In his monumental work, Duties of the Heart, Rabbeinu Bachaye quotes a wise man who told his disciples, “If you do not find defects within yourself, I am afraid you have the greatest defect of all: vanity.” In other words, people who see everything from an “I am great/right” perspective will of course believe that they do no wrong.

When people can see no faults in themselves, it is generally because they feel so inadequate that the awareness of any personal defects would be devastating. Ironically, vanity is a defense against low self-esteem. If we accept ourselves as fallible human beings and also have a sense of self-worth, we can become even better than we are.

Today I shall…

be aware that if I do not find things within myself to correct, it may be because I am threatened by such discoveries.

-Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski
“Growing Each Day, Av 25”
Aish.com

Paul’s commentary on Solomon goes like this:

What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. As it is written:

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” –Romans 3:9-12 (ESV)

Given the opinions of these two sage authorities, I think we can conclude that no matter how self-assured, or perhaps even self-righteous, we may feel, even the best of us (and I’m hardly that) has some sort of flaw, especially when in contrast to a perfectly Holy God.

A long time ago, I used to think that people who were (at least in public) perfectly self-confident were either really good people who had it all together or total egomaniacs who thought they were “all that and a bag of chips,” as the saying goes. Only later on did I begin to realize that many of these “self-confident” individuals were really very vulnerable and injured people desperately defending themselves against being hurt again. They say the best defense is a good offense, but a lot of these folks defend by being terribly offensive.

And remember what I said before that even the most difficult of these people almost universally sees themselves as “good” and sees their opponents (which can sometimes include pretty much the rest of the world) as “bad” or as “a threat.” As much as their reaction to the world can cause other people pain and hardship, imagine how difficult it must be for them to feel as if they are about to be hurt and tortured by everyone they encounter.

On some level, we’re all injured. We all have our vulnerabilities; those areas of our lives where we experience fear or shame or humiliation; those domains of our inner being we are terrified people will discover and drag into the light, exposing our deepest darkness and weakness.

However, human beings have different means of coping with vulnerabilities. I don’t believe that we are all injured to the same extent and so we each have different levels of pain and inner opposition to manage and overcome. On top of that, some folks have tremendous coping skills and can manage enormous obstacles and difficulties with seeming ease, while others may struggle mightily all of their lives to barely stay afloat above troubles that don’t seem that tough to the rest of us.

But who am I to judge?

This isn’t about judgment of the frailties of others, it’s about recognizing where we ourselves are lacking and letting that “weakness” function as a strength. Seeing another person who we think of as “difficult,” we should examine ourselves to see how we are like that person and what pain may result from our own “difficult” behavior. For some people who may have reconciled with their “inner demons” so well that they don’t actively perceive themselves as having defects, it might take an extra effort to overcome the barriers that separate them from what they may be afraid of seeing in themselves.

As it turns out, the way to best help another person who is hurt inside but defending that hurt by pushing against others, is not to “come on strong” but to approach with compassion and even a little vulnerability.

That isn’t easy.

When someone pushes us, we want to push back. If we think someone is aggressive and even hostile, the last thing we want to do is “expose our throat” to them. But mercy, grace, compassion, and even “turning the other cheek” (Matthew 5:39) is exactly what the Master requires of us in dealing with injured and imperfect people. Your “olive branch” may not always be accepted and reconciliation may not always be possible, but you at least have to try…we all must make our best efforts, even knowing they won’t be successful all of the time.

We were created to overcome the difficulties in other people with the best and most decent qualities in ourselves (Romans 12:21). Overcome evil with good, not only in “difficult people” but first, within yourself.

“Do not be too quick to assume that your enemy is an enemy of God just because he is your enemy. Perhaps he is your enemy precisely because he can find nothing in you that gives glory to God. Perhaps he fears you because he can find nothing in you of God’s love and God’s kindness and God’s patience and mercy and understanding of the weaknesses of men. Do not be too quick to condemn the man who no longer believes in God, for perhaps it is your own coldness and avarice, your mediocrity and materialism, your sensuality and selfishness that have killed his faith.”

-Thomas Merton

As Rabbi Twerski says, “Today I shall be aware that if I do not find things within myself to correct, it may be because I am threatened by such discoveries.”

It is only by learning to be at peace with the greatest pain within you, that you learn to be at peace with others and with God.

May the Prince of Peace come soon and in our days, and may his peace heal us all.

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Why Do We Fall Down?

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FallingFor after I fell, I have arisen… –Michah 7:8

The Midrash comments: “Had I not fallen, I would not have arisen,” and so indicates that some heights are not attainable without an antecedent fall.

Obviously, no one designs a fall in the hope that it may lead to a greater elevation. Michah’s message, however, is that if a person should suffer a reversal, he or she should not despair, because it may be a necessary prelude to achieving a higher level than would have been possible otherwise.

We can find many analogies to this concept. When we swing a pickaxe, we first lower it behind ourselves in order to deliver a blow with maximum force. Runners often back up behind the starting line to get a “running start.” In many things, starting from a “minus” position provides a momentum that would otherwise not be attainable.

When things are going well, most people let well enough alone. The result? Mediocrity has become acceptable. Changing might involve some risk, and even if we could achieve greater things, we might not wish to take a chance when things are proceeding quite satisfactorily. However, when we are in an intolerable situation, we are compelled to do something, and this impetus may bring about creativity and progress.

We even see this concept in the account of creation in Genesis. First there was darkness, then came light.

Today I shall…

realize that a reversal may be the seed of future growth, and I must never despair.

-Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski
“Growing Each Day, Av 24”
Aish.com

If you’re a movie goer, this piece of advice may sound very close to another slice of “conventional wisdom.” uttered by actor Michael Caine:

Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up.

–Batman Begins (2005)

In yesterday’s meditation, I talked about the value of prayer as a conversation with a very special “traveling companion.” Our relationship with God, once we become aware that there is a God and that He wants us to relate to him, is no simple matter. But then, what do you expect from having daily interactions with the infinite, unknowable, radical One God?

But relationships with other people and even with ourselves aren’t particularly easy, either. A life of faith can be a struggle. We take on board beliefs and a trust in our Creator that not only does the world fail to comprehend, but that we ourselves often puzzle over.

It can be very disheartening, hence the need to continually relate to God.

But like I said, it’s not just about “me and Jesus.” It’s much more than that.

Spend time thinking about the virtues of other people. Not merely as a passing thought – but try to feel pleasure in thinking of their virtues.

-Rabbi Reuven Dov Dessler
Tnuas Hamussar, vol.5, p.180;
see Rabbi Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.103
Aish.com

What does considering and celebrating the virtues of others have to do with learning to get up again once we’ve fallen down?

Plenty.

A tradition handed down from Rebbe to Rebbe: During the well-known conflict (between chassidim and their opponents) the chassidim told the Alter Rebbe about the terrible abuse they suffered from the plain misnagdic folk. The Rebbe said: Grandfather (as he called the Baal Shem Tov) deeply loved simple folk. In my first days in Mezritch, the Rebbe, (the Maggid) said: “It was a frequent customary remark of the Rebbe (Baal Shem Tov) that love of Israel is love of G-d. “You are children of Hashem your G-d”; when one loves the father one loves the children.

“Today’s Day”
Wednesday, Menachem Av 24, 5703
Compiled by the Lubavitcher Rebbe
Translated by Yitschak Meir Kagan
Chabad.org

I’ve said before that not only is it impossible to truly love God without loving people, but that loving God, loving others, and taking care of yourself are all wrapped up into one big package. It comes full circle in helping us to realize that God intensely, completely loves us…all of us. Our deep responsibility to help others is only a reflection of God’s desire to care for and to love us.

Whenever we fall, whether due to disease, injury, or most commonly, emotional and spiritual discouragement, we depend on God to help lift us up again. Often, that help comes in the form of another human being. So it stands to reason that when we see someone else who has fallen, we should unreservedly strive to help that person stand back up again.

You may believe that God doesn’t answer your prayers when you need Him to the most. On the other hand, maybe God’s “agent” for that answer simply hasn’t arrived yet. The other side of the coin is that when you have the opportunity to help someone out, please be timely, because God sent you to be the answer to their prayers.

Why do other people fall down? So that we can do God’s will in helping them back up.

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Conversations With My Companion

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Question: I spent quite a bit of time praying for someone who was very ill. Many people came together to pray for this person yet she unfortunately passed away. How can we say then that a prayer is never unanswered? Obviously in this case and in many others the prayers of so many people have not been answered. How can we have absolute faith in G-d if He doesn’t spare the life of someone who so many prayed for? I understand that belief in G-d is fundamental to our religion but I just wish to understand this. I have also heard many answers before. For example G-d does everything for a reason and one can’t see the whole picture. I was wondering if you had a different answer as this one doesn’t fully answer my question.

Answer: The first thing to understand is that prayer – no matter how sincere and intense – can never be guaranteed to produce results. Think about it: if all prayers were rewarded, wouldn’t that make us gods, and God nothing more than our slave? Think about this, too: are we really so sure that we know enough of the universe’s workings to be sure that what we’re asking for is really the very best thing for everyone? Isn’t it wiser to place ourselves in God’s gentle and powerful hands; to rely on His judgment?

This, in effect, is what King David’s general, Yoav, was saying on the eve of a very dangerous battle (II Samuel, 10:12) with the words: “Be strong and sure for our people and for the cities of the Lord our God, and the Lord will do what is best in His eyes.” So what then is the purpose of prayer?

-Rabbi Boruch Clinton
from “Belief in G-d and Unanswered Prayers”
JewishAnswers.org

Good question and one that doesn’t offer an easy answer. Some people don’t find an answer at all, and the result is that they leave the faith.

You pray. You pray with all your heart, with all your devotion, with all your love of God, and yet it seems as if your prayers are not answered. The illness is not healed. The loved one is not spared a painful death. Grief and disappointment enter your heart, your soul, your very being. Where is God?

I can’t peer behind the veil of Heaven and give you the answer. This is a question both the faithful and the faithless have been asking ever since man first became aware of a Holy God. Where is God during a flood that leaves millions homeless? Where is God when cancer ravages a once vital and robust person, reducing her to a faded skeleton with skin of parchment? Where is God when I need Him the most? I prayed that she would be healed and recover completely, but instead, she died.

There are any number of books written by Pastors and Rabbis, who are far more learned and wiser than I am, who try to answer these questions. I suppose that’s why I quote from the ancient sages and the modern clergy when I write my “meditations.” I find them just as inspiring and illuminating as the others in their audience. I draw strength and courage from their insights into God, and through what they teach, I try to gain a better understanding of the scriptures, of God, and of myself.

But where is God when disaster strikes the world, strikes communities, families, and individuals, and grips the human heart with terror? And not understanding the answer, why then do we continue to pray to a God who does not seem to answer us when we beg and plead for mercy?

The Talmud says that a Jew is obligated to pray, based upon Deuteronomy 11:13: “serve Him with all your thoughts — Livavchem — and with all your soul.” Livavchem is a form of the Hebrew word Leiv, which is most often translated as the heart. In the Torah, however, we find that the first appearance of Leiv is Genesis 6:5 “Machshavos Libo” — thoughts of his Leiv (see also Proverbs 19:21). We do the same thing in English, referring to a person with a “warm heart,” while in reality we know thoughts are in the head. Be that as it may, the service of G-d in Deuteronomy 11, service “with all your heart,” is found in our thoughts. The Sages of the Talmud say that this is prayer, Tefilah.

The word Tefila deserves further examination as well, because although we commonly translate it as prayer, the origin of the word is the root Palel, meaning to judge or decide (see Ex. 21:22). Jewish prayer, in fact, is a form of reflection and self-judgment. In the reflexive form, the verb L’hispalel, “to pray,” actually means to judge one’s self.

Prayer is better understood as a service of the Al-mighty that takes place in our thoughts, which involves judging ourselves, making decisions, before G-d. We make judgments and decisions many times each day. The obligation to pray asks us to involve G-d in our thoughts and in the decisions we make. Formal prayer remains necessary, for it trains us to turn to Him periodically throughout the day — but the training should lead us to turn to Him whenever we need clarity and help, far beyond the synagogue. (Heard from Rabbi Jonathan Rietti)

G-d loves us, and He asks us to love Him back. Sometimes more precious than hearing “I love you” is hearing “I was thinking about you.” The more He’s on our mind, the closer we come to Him. Also, let’s not forget that He’s the ultimate source of all goodness. He pulls the strings infinitely more effectively than any other resource in our network of friends or associates. Shouldn’t such a personal contact take priority over all others?

-Rabbi Mordechai Dixler
“Your Best Contact”
Commentary on Torah Portion Ekev
ProjectGenesis.org

I don’t know if that’s a good enough answer for you. I don’t know that it’s a good enough answer for me. I do know, or at least believe, that prayer is not a simple ask and answer transaction. As Rabbi Clinton suggests, God is not the genie of the lamp and we are not Aladdin. It’s not a matter of rubbing an ancient illumination device, summoning the all-powerful being that resides within, and simply directing him to give us what we want, when we want it, in the way we want it. If this were so, then we all would be little “gods” running around commanding this all-powerful force to do our bidding, changing the world around us as our wants, needs, and desires saw fit.

Obviously, such is not the case. There is the will of God and as such, His will is not to be denied, even when we face our darkest hour. The Son of Man knew this most poignant and overarching lesson:

He parted from them a distance of slinging a stone and got down on his knees and prayed, saying, “My Father, if only you were willing to make this cup pass from me! Yet let it not be according to my will but according to your will.” An angel from Heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. Then the bonds of death came upon him and he continued to pray fervently. –Luke 22:41-44 (DHE Gospels)

Jesus prayed that God release him from the sentence of a painful, agonizing, humiliating, and ultimately unmerited death; a death in which the Son of Man would be separated from the Father in Heaven, perhaps for the first time since he was born to Miriam.

And yet he said, “let it not be according to my will but according to your will.” The result was that “the bonds of death came upon him.” I believe you know what series of events followed. Jesus prayed. He was comforted. He struggled with the “bonds of death.” He was unjustly tried. He was tortured. He was denied by one of his closest friends. He was humiliated. He was nailed to a tree. He suffered horribly. He was mocked while in agony. The Father (seemingly) abandoned him. And then finally, he died.

And not only he, but his disciples, his closest companions, were utterly disheartened and crushed.

Where was God?

The story has a “happy ending” which Christians celebrate every year at Easter but that “happy ending” is provisional, since we still live in a broken world where people pray, suffer, and die every day.

Where is God?

Why do we bother to pray?

Because, as Rabbi Dixler says, prayer is more about our relationship with God than what God will or won’t do for us. It’s about facing trials and suffering and knowing that the hurt may only end in death, but still knowing that God is our companion in all of that. Faith in God through Jesus Christ comes with a certain promise attached.

This is my mitzvah: that you love one another as I have loved you. There is no love greater than the love of one who gives his life on behalf of his companions. As for you, if you do what I command you, you are my companions. I will no longer call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master will do. But I said you are my companions because I have made it known to you all that I have heard from my Father. –John 15:12-15 (DHE Gospels)

In the past few weeks, I’ve written a great deal about love. Prayer is an act of self-sacrifice. In religious Judaism, prayer substitutes for the sacrifices Jews would make if the Holy Temple currently existed in Jerusalem. The Apostle Paul urged us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices (see Romans 12:1) though not in the literal sense. He referred to himself at the end of his life as being poured out like a drink offering (see Philippians 2:17 and 2 Timothy 4:6). And he urged the church at Philippi:

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:5-7 (ESV)

Prayer is the act of self-judgment, service to our Master, and turning ourselves inside out to God. It’s totally and willingly revealing of ourselves to Him (not that He doesn’t know us). It’s inviting God into our lives, our hearts, our joys, and our suffering. God isn’t obligated to answer our prayers in the manner we desire, but He has promised to always accompany us on a journey through whatever territory, light or darkness, that we may find ourselves. David’s most famous psalm to the King of Kings included this:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. –Psalm 23:4 (ESV)

David didn’t pray to be spared a journey through “the valley of the shadow of death” (sometimes translated as “the valley of deep darkness”), only that God be his shepherd and that He comfort David.

Jesus promised that we would be more than servants, we would be his companions. The word “companions,” as I previously presented when quoting from John 15:13, is often translated as “friends.” Though we are sometimes in pain and torment, we are never alone, for God is with us. He comforts us, if we will only reach out to Him. We will not always be absolved of pain, but we will never be abandoned.

Rabbi Clinton finishes his answer with this:

The prayer book (Siddur), Psalms and the words various traditional formulations are bursting with valuable lessons about our relationship with God, His compassion and generosity and our own fragile existence. By thinking about these precious words, we are deeply enriching our own faith and expressing our dependence on God – who does, after all – care for us.

Do our prayers have any effect on our suffering friends? Undoubtedly. Perhaps the very act of growing in faith and sensitivity as a result of the prayer process can be considered a significant accomplishment for ones loved one. After all, it was your relationship to him/her which inspired this growth.

There is much more to this subject, but I hope that these words will be of some help to you.

May the God of Abraham always answer your prayers and mine by drawing us close to Him, today and forever. And may we continue to walk and talk with our Master as our traveling companion…and our friend.

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Who Do We See In The Mirror?

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Whenever you notice a fault in another person, check where you have that fault yourself. We have a strong tendency to notice our own faults in others. This awareness gives us many opportunities to learn about our own shortcomings -since it is easier to recognize a fault in someone else than in ourselves.”

What fault do you commonly notice in other people? In what ways do you have that fault yourself?

Use this awareness as a tool to stop yourself from speaking against others. Who would want to speak against others knowing that you are merely drawing attention to that same fault in yourself?!

Today, catch yourself in the act of criticizing others. Then think about the implications for yourself.

-see Talmud Kiddushin 70b; Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin – Ruach Chaim 2:1
quoted from Aish.com

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves…”

-William Shakespeare’s
“Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)”

According to Attribution Theory in the field of Social Psychology, we tend to think that a person’s behavior is attributed to something we believe about them. For instance, let’s say you don’t like “Fred” for whatever reason. You think Fred is a blockhead and a pain-in-the-neck. You see Fred at your local fast food place and just after picking up his order, he trips and spills his tray all over the floor. This just “proves” what you’ve known all along. Fred is a klutz and a moron. See how he spilled his tray?

On the other hand, you may really like Sally and think she’s a great person. She’s kind, gives to charity, and is nice to children and small animals. You see Sally at the same fast food joint and she spills her tray in an identical fashion to Fred. However, you feel sorry for Sally. Someone (like Fred) must have tripped her. Instead of gloating, you rush over to help Sally clean up the mess.

Why we like or don’t like other people may be just what we believe about them. It may also be what we see in them. If Fred has characteristics that are like those in ourselves that we don’t like, we probably aren’t going to like Fred. If, on the other hand, we see things about Sally that are the same as some of the characteristics we like in ourselves, we’ll probably like Sally.

That’s a gross oversimplification of a complex set of variables, but you get the idea.

But what does this have to do with the Internet?

Plenty.

I mentioned yesterday that we do a fair amount of complaining on the blogosphere about a lot of things and a lot of people. But is it really necessary?

I suppose wearing the “mask” of the web over our “faces,” and given the fact that you can create a functional blog in just a few minutes, we all suddenly have the ability to spew our thoughts and feelings out to whatever audience chooses to read them. Once we start interconnecting, we start seeing people we like and don’t like and naturally, since we don’t have to face any of these people in real life, we tell them what we think about them.

Or are we really revealing something about how we like or don’t like ourselves under the mask?

Interesting, isn’t it?

Of course, if all of our complaining is really telling the world how we see ourselves, maybe it would be a good idea to turn it down a notch before everyone notices that we’re airing out our dirty laundry on the most public clothes line in the universe.

Whenever you see that someone has made a mistake, view the situation as a learning experience to prevent yourself from making similar mistakes.

Moreover, utilize this experience to discover what knowledge you may be able to impart to others so they, too, can avoid making similar mistakes.

Today, think of three mistakes you have seen people make recently. In what way have you made similar mistakes?

-see Ralbag – Shaar hachochmah, no.11
quoted from Aish.com

Turning that piece of advice around, if we look at the “faults” of others as if they’re our own, maybe we are really just learning from our own mistakes as we project them outward.

That would make the blogosphere one really, really big mirror. That ugly, nasty troll or witch you see on someone else’s blog is actually just your own reflection.

Terrifying thought.

I’ve got a suggestion. Visit the blog or website of the one person who really gets under your skin and read through a significant portion of their content. Pay close attention to what it is about the stuff you’re reading that really sets you off. Make a list of suggestions you’d like to give the blog writer about how they could improve themselves as a writer and a person. Then stop and ask yourself if you tend to say things or hold attitudes that are equally irritating, annoying, and offensive.

If (being perfectly honest since this is all happening within the privacy of your own thoughts) you start seeing these rather ghastly connections between them and you, begin considering the advice you wanted to give to that other person. Would it be good advice for you to take as well?

For those of us who have faith, we’re supposed to live in a community of like-minded believers. Our ideal is to obey the “new commandment” of our Master and to love one another (John 13:34). It’s supposed to be the defining characteristic of disciples of Jesus. Yet, given the nature and tone of our conversations on the Internet, we do everything else except love.

One should daven together with the community – 8a

Someone asked R’ Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, would it be better if one davened without a minyan if he felt he could daven with more kavannah in a room by himself. Which was more important, davening with a tzibbur or increased kavannah?

R’ Moshe responded (Igros Moshe O.C. 3:7): If the person can concentrate even minimally while with a minyan, it is better to daven with the tzibbur, even at the expense of added kavannah. We find that a person must extend himself to daven with a minyan, and it is even an obligation to do so. In an earlier letter (O.C. 2:27) R’ Moshe contends that the obligation stems from the fact that the prayers of a person who is in a group are certain to be accepted, while the prayers of an individual are not necessarily accepted. A person has the responsibility to daven to the best of his abilities, so he must go to daven where his prayers are more readily desirable. Accordingly, the advantage of davening with a minyan is essential, for this can make the difference whether one’s prayers are accepted or not. Davening with a bit more kavannah is only a substantive advantage. Therefore, a person must daven with a minyan, even though his kavannah may be somewhat diminished.

Daf Yomi Digest
Distinctive Insight
“Davening with a minyan or davening with more kavannah?”
Berachos 8

As we can see here, the sense of community and davening with a minyan is considered more important than experiencing greater kavannah in prayer by davening alone. God never really designed us, Jew, Christian, or anyone else, to relate to Him by ourselves. We know that loving God and loving other people are incredibly intertwined so perhaps that’s part of where this principle comes in. But whether we always like each other (or ourselves) or not, we are still all his disciples (I’m speaking of the community of faith now). We don’t get to escape from one another just because we sometimes fuss and bicker.

I recently issued a sort of challenge to Judah Gabriel Himango on his blog suggesting, starting next Sunday (or Saturday night after Shabbat) that “we spend a week posting only uplifting material and not announcing to the world why we think we’re right and the other guy or gal (it doesn’t matter who they are) is wrong.” For me, that means writing a minimum of six blog posts that don’t mention supersessionism, replacement theology, and my opinions on some of the major theological expressions in the Messianic Jewish/One Law community. I suppose it also means I can’t take the church to task for any of its perceived failings or take shots at atheists either.

All Judah has to do is not blog for a week and he’s covered, so I’m biasing this challenge in his favor just because I post “morning meditations” six-days a week. If anyone wanted to take a cheap shot at me in the comments section of my blog and not receive a pithy rebuttal, this coming week is the time to do it (I’m saying all this somewhat tongue-in-cheek).

Let’s see if I and anyone else, can choose to consistently take the moral high road and only offer uplifting, supportive, and encouraging words on the “intertubes.” I predict that the number of hits on my blog will plummet like a stone dropped in Lake Mead (I hope I’m wrong).

But I also hope that maybe the online community of faith will get something positive out of it, too.

We’ll see how it goes. Anyone else out there game?

Torah Portion

Ekev: Do Not Forsake Your Father’s Torah

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These concepts are related to this week’s Torah reading, Parshas Eikev. Eikev literally means “heel,” and refers to ikvesa diMeshicha, (Or HaTorah, the beginning of Parshas Eikev.) the time when Mashiach’s approaching footsteps can be heard. Moreover, the connection between this era and “heels” runs deeper. The human body is used as a metaphor (See Tanya, ch. 2.) to describe the Jewish nation as it has existed over the ages. In that context, our present generation can be compared to the heel the least sensitive limb in the body for we lack the intellectual and emotional sophistication of our forebears.

Other interpretations (Devarim Rabbah 3:1,3; Ibn Ezra and Ramban to Deuteronomy 7:12.) explain that the word eikev refers to “The End of Days” when the ultimate reward for observance of the Torah and its mitzvos will blossom. Indeed, the beginning of the Torah reading focuses on the reward we will receive for our Divine service.

The rewards of health, success, and material well-being mentioned by the Torah are merely catalysts, making possible our observance. For when a person commits himself to observe the Torah and its mitzvos, G-d shapes his environment to encourage that observance.

And yet, man should not strive for this era merely in order to partake of its blessings.

The Sages and the prophets did not yearn for the Era of Mashiach in order to rule over the entire world, nor in order to eat, drink, and celebrate. Rather their aspiration was to be free [to involve themselves] in the Torah and its wisdom, without anyone to oppress or disturb them. (Loc. cit. :4, see also Hilchos Teshuvah 9:2.)

It is the observance of the Torah and the connection to G-d which this engenders which should be the goal of all our endeavors.

The two interpretations of the word eikev are interrelated. For it is the intense commitment that characterizes our Divine service during ikvesa diMeshicha which will bring the dawning of the era when we will be able to express that commitment without external challenge. Heartfelt dedication to the Torah today will bear fruit, leading to an age in which the inner spark of G-dliness which inspires our observance will permeate every aspect of existence. “For the world will be filled with the knowledge of G-d as the waters cover the ocean bed.” (Isaiah 11:9, quoted by the Rambam, loc. cit.: 5)

-Rabbi Eli Touger
“When the Heel Becomes a Head”
Commentary on Torah Portion Ekev
Adapted from
Likkutei Sichos, Vol. IX, p. 71ff;
Sefer HaSichos 5749, p. 641ff
Chabad.org

Certainly the meditations and interpretations of the Chassidim are esoteric and not easily understood. Also, there is a difference between midrash and the more plain meaning we can derive from scripture, so we can’t take any significant portion of Rabbi Touger’s commentary as “Gospel” from a Christian point of view. However, the lesson is not completely without merit, either.

In reviewing this commentary (you can read the complete text at the link I provided above) and also from reading the text from this week’s Torah Portion, we can see revealed before us as Moses continues his closing address to the Children of Israel, that the nation; the people of Israel are indeed unique among all of mankind. God chose them and set them apart as a “kingdom of priests and a holy nation” (Exodus 19:6) before Him and that they would always be a nation in His Presence.

Given what I’ve just said, it’s natural for Christians then to ask, “What about us?” The answer is that by the merit of the blood of our Master and Lord Jesus Christ, we Gentiles also have access to a covenant relationship with the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Of course how the covenant is applied to the nations is not identical to God’s “choosing” of Israel from out of the nations, so we have never seen Gentiles turned into Jews without undergoing the full conversion process (which has changed significantly over time). Becoming a Christian is just that, becoming a disciple of the Jewish Messiah King and being covered by the “Messianic” covenant (I’ve said all this before).

I know we struggle with the idea of maintaining distinctions between the Jews and Gentile Christians relative to God and the Messiah. But what if those distinctions were to go away? What if Jews voluntarily decided to “unchoose” themselves?

Actually, it’s already happened:

I’ve often heard the Jews referred to as the “Chosen People.” Isn’t that possibly the source of much of the anti-Semitism in the world?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If Jewish “choseness” is in fact the cause of anti-Semitism, then hatred against the Jews should disappear when Jews drop the claim that they are chosen.

Late in the 19th century, the Jews living in Germany and Austria collectively rejected their “choseness” and were assimilated by their host nation. In fact, they believed that the non-Jews among whom they lived were the true chosen people. “Berlin is our Jerusalem!” they loudly proclaimed. Gentile society was their social environment of choice, and Germany their beloved motherland.

Did anti-Semitism disappear? We all know the tragic answer to that question. The Jews in Germany and Austria experienced the most vicious outpouring of anti-Semitic hatred in history. Precisely when Jews rejected their claim to “chosenness,” they suffered the most virulent forms of anti-Semitism.

Another test of the Chosen People theory is to see how humanity responds to other peoples who claim to be “chosen.” If the claim that Jews are chosen gives rise to anti-Semitism, then all groups who make similar claims of having been “chosen” should also become targets of persecution and hatred.

Christianity and Islam represent two other major religious groups that claim to have been chosen. Christian theology accepts that God gave the Bible to the Jews and made the Jews His special messengers. However, it is the Christian belief that once the Jews rejected Jesus, the Christians became God’s new chosen people.

Muslims likewise believe that the Jewish Bible is the word of God. However, Muslim theology claims that when Mohammad appeared on the scene, God made the Muslims His chosen people. But why hasn’t this historically generated hatred against them?

Ask the Rabbi
“Chosen People – Source of Anti-Semitism?”
Aish.com

Even when all of the Jews in an entire nation voluntarily “surrendered” their status as “God’s chosen people,” there was no difference. The world still chose to treat them in exactly the same manner as when Jews stand firmly upon the foundation of the Torah and behave in accordance to their covenant status and perform the mitzvot. God will not permit the Jewish people to forget the promises He made to them and He will not permit them to relinquish their responsibilities to Him. If the Jewish people attempt to go back on their promises to God, there are powerful consequences that come into play.

Now let’s apply that to the Jewish people who have accepted Jesus as the promised Messiah and yet who insist on affirming the Torah covenant between them and God. Are they wrong for refusing to relinquish their “chosen” status that requires they perform the mitzvot of Sinai in response to the Mosaic covenant? Should we non-Jewish believers insist that the Jews give up the Torah mitzvot to the rest of the world, thereby diluting and ultimately dissolving anything resembling a distinct identity among the worldwide community of Jews. Except for a bit of DNA, the Jews would no longer be Jewish as God defines them.

Somehow, given the example of history, particularly within the past 80 or 90 years, it seems that would be a bad idea. I don’t believe God would permit the Jewish people who have come to faith in the Messiah to permanently and en masse, surrender the Torah to the nations of the world, particularly if their Judaism goes along with it. If the nation of Israel was supposed to be unique in the time of Moses, and it was the nation of Israel that sent forth Jewish emissaries carrying the good news of the Messiah to the nations, why would God subsequently desire to liquidate Israel and replace them with a more generic body comprised of Gentiles and (former) Jews?

Judah Gabriel Himango recently coined the term “supersessionoia” on his blog, and I’m probably guilty as charged. On the other hand, is it really a “phobia” to support the Jewish people as the Jewish people, as unique to God, as His treasured splendorous people, and at the same time, acknowledge, affirm, and support the special covenant relationship the rest of we disciples of the Master have as Christians?

In all clear conscious, and I admit that I’m hardly objective since my wife and three children are (non-Messianic) Jewish, as a Christian husband and father, I will continue to support them being Jewish and hope and pray they will turn their hearts to God and Torah and live as Jews from one generation to the next. I know that terrible consequences face the Jewish people for surrendering the authority of the Torah as given to them and them alone at Sinai.

Take care lest you forget the Lord your God and fail to keep His commandments, His rules, and His laws, which I enjoin upon you today. When you have eaten your fill, and have built fine houses to live in, and your herds and flocks have multiplied, and your silver and gold have increased, and everything you own has prospered, beware lest your heart grow haughty and you forget the Lord your God — who freed you from the land of Egypt, the house of bondage; who led you through the great and terrible wilderness with its seraph serpents and scorpions, a parched land with no water in it, who brought forth water for you from the flinty rock; who fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers had never known, in order to test you by hardships only to benefit you in the end — and you say to yourselves, “My own power and the might of my own hand have won this wealth for me.” Remember that it is the Lord your God who gives you the power to get wealth, in fulfillment of the covenant that He made on oath with your fathers, as is still the case.

If you do forget the Lord your God and follow other gods to serve them or bow down to them, I warn you this day that you shall certainly perish; like the nations that the Lord will cause to perish before you, so shall you perish — because you did not heed the Lord your God. –Deuteronomy 8:11-20 (JPS Tanakh)

These are the Father’s loving instructions to His Jewish children:

Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my Torah. –Proverbs 4:1-2

Good Shabbos.