Tag Archives: repentance

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Waking Up New

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The Talmudic Sages ask: “Who is the wise man?”

The answer: “One who sees (i.e., thinks about) the outcome of his actions.”

Keep asking yourself, “What is the goal of my present behavior?” and “What are the potential harmful consequences?” These two questions will enable you to have greater control over your behavior.

(Talmud – Tamid 32a; Rabbi Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.258)

-Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Daily Lift #222: “Outcome Thinking”
Aish.com

I would be wonderful if we all did this, especially when faced with a morally questionable decision or one that otherwise has the potential to hurt another person, but human nature seems to dictate that we consider the outcome of our actions only after we have acted.

The value of this principle is greatest when a person is in the process of making teshuvah and attempting to repair the damage his or her sins have already done. No, repentance doesn’t change the past, though we often wish it would, but considering the outcome of our actions can work to prevent us from repeating our mistakes.

In other words, we can’t “undo” previous sins, but we can consider the impact of present and future actions and keep ourselves from sinning again.

Our problem is how to live what we pray, how to make our lives a daily commentary on our prayer book, how to live in consonance with what we promise, how to keep faith with the vision we pronounce.

-Abraham Joshua Heschel
from “The Goal and the Way,” p.94
Man’s Quest for God

However, a sort of strange paradox can occur. As I said, we can’t change the past but we can change the future, so to speak, by considering our actions in the present. But what about all the damage we’ve done up to this point? What about all of the hurt we’ve caused, all the disappointment that’s already a result of what we’ve done? How can we possibly lift that kind of weight off our backs in order to even begin to move toward the future?

The very first prayer of the day is Modeh Ani, which is recited immediately upon awakening. The prayer ends with the words, “great is Your faithfulness.” This praise underscores the fundamental importance of our trust in Hashem’s faithfulness in watching over us. Iyun Tefillah relates this phrase to the verse in Eichah (3:23): “They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness…

-from “A Closer Look at the Siddur,” p.63
Commentary for Sunday on Parashas Va’eira
A Daily Dose of Torah

Or, in other words…

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness,
Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
Hide Your face from my sins
And blot out all my iniquities

–Psalm 51:2-9 (NASB)

In terms of cause and effect in the present world, what we’ve done in the past is done and cannot be undone. But once a person has repented sincerely of his or her sins, God does not simply put them in the past, but it is as if the person had never sinned at all. Each new morning you wake up a completely new person with no debts to be repaid as far as God is concerned. God is faithful to forgive and to treat us as if we had never sinned, as if we were pure, faultless, and blameless.

And on that basis, we can wake up and consider ourselves a new person (2 Corinthians 5:17) with a brand new life waiting to be lived. Then, as we proceed throughout our day, at the point where we are making decisions, we can feel free to stop and consider the consequences of each action. Since we have a brand new life to live, using our experience with past failures as a guide, we can choose to avoid certain decisions in favor of others that will have a better outcome.

Going back to the Modei Ani, it’s not just that God is faithful in returning our souls each morning, and it’s not just that we put our faith in Him, but God has faith in us:

Chasam Sofer, commenting on this phrase, translates it to mean, “great is your faith in us.”

Though we are careless and abusive in the treatment of our souls, which Hashem has entrusted to us, He returns them to us again and again, confident that we will use them properly in His service.

-“A Daily Dose of Torah,” ibid

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

–Psalm 100

No matter what sort of past we’ve led, we can still have a bright future with God in His service. Only God can untie us from the tyranny of guilt and shame and free us to serve Him in joy and boundless gratitude, for great is His faith in us.

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Things That Matter

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There was a time when God became so distant that we were almost ready to deny Him, had psychologists or sociologists not been willing to permit us to believe in Him. And how grateful some of us were when told ex cathedra that prayer is not totally irrelevant because it does satisfy an emotional need.

To Judaism the purpose of prayer isn’t to satisfy an emotional need. Prayer is not a need but an ontological necessity, an act that constitutes the very essence of man. He who has never prayed is not fully human. Ontology, not psychology or sociology, explains prayer.

-Abraham Joshua Heschel
“An Ontological Necessity,” p.78
Man’s Quest for God

I suppose a definition of Ontology is in order:

Ontology is the philosophical study of the nature of being, becoming, existence, or reality, as well as the basic categories of being and their relations. Traditionally listed as a part of the major branch of philosophy known as metaphysics, ontology deals with questions concerning what entities exist or can be said to exist, and how such entities can be grouped, related within a hierarchy, and subdivided according to similarities and differences.

That sounds very abstract and even cold, especially when applied to the intimacy of prayer, but I see where Heschel is coming from. Periodically, you may read about studies that say people who pray have less anxiety than those who don’t, or they (we) recover from illnesses faster than those who don’t pray. Prayer, from this perspective, is put in the same category as meditation, which doesn’t necessarily acknowledge the existence let alone the absolute necessity of God in our human lives. Thus prayer has value from the atheist’s point of view because it is a psychologically valid method of reducing stress or otherwise providing for a state of well-being.

Abraham Joshua Heschel
Abraham Joshua Heschel

But Heschel is saying that prayer is the reality of our existence, providing vital linkage with the source of our lives and the very author of all creation. Prayer is what gives a sense of completeness to our being, which is probably why Heschel says (outrageously, from an atheist’s point of view) that he “who has never prayed is not fully human.”

So in prayer we realize our full humanity, but in doing so, we collide head on with our vulnerability, our frailty, our mortality, with everything that separates us from God as well as what binds us to him.

Prayer also brings us perspective:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

You probably recognize the Serenity Prayer which is regularly said at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings around the world. This prayer connects rather nicely with the image I placed toward the bottom of today’s “morning meditation” (scroll down).

I saw that diagram taped near the desk of one of my co-workers and, in considering the ongoing process of teshuvah, it made a great deal of sense. In the effort of making that 180 degree turn away from sin and toward God, a lot of information and emotion is thrown up in the air, like a sandstorm obscuring vision. How can I see when I’ve made my complete turnaround and know when I’m facing the right direction so I can begin to proceed if I’m confused by all the things that matter that I can’t control and all the things that don’t matter that I can?

The Serenity Prayer seems to be how to ask God to let you see through the sandstorm and pick out only those specific details that are necessary for you (or me) to start walking toward Him.

Why do we need serenity?

I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

–Philippians 4:12-13 (NASB)

I maintain that only a person who is highly elevated spiritually can possibly stand in the eye of the hurricane and dispassionately watch the tempest rage and completely surround him. The rest of us would be running for the storm cellar.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a goal to shoot for, even if achieving it is years or a lifetime in the making.

I’ve mentioned before the seven steps in achieving teshuvah (repentance) which interestingly enough, are sort of connected to the 12 steps that are fundamental to Alcoholics Anonymous. It would seem that the process of recovering from additions can be extended to the process of “recovering” from all manner of sins, at least from the Jewish perspective.

thingsA couple of days ago I commented on something written by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman or rather, one of the comments made in response to his writing:

And 12-Step groups call this “Willingness.”
Wow – I keep seeing how the 12-step recovery coincides with Judaism, it is beautiful.

Would it sound too crazy to suggest something called “Teshuvah Anonymous?”

God help me to accept the things I cannot control, understand all the things that matter, and focus on those things that matter I can control. For only there will my efforts be successful in changing my life so that I behave toward others with greater compassion, kindness, and care, and only there will I find my path to You in prayer.

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Longing for Mercy in an Ordinary Life

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When Moses got up that morning and counted the sheep, he did not say to himself, “I think I’ll take the sheep out on the west side of the wilderness over by the Mountain of God.” Mount Horeb was simply Mount Horeb, an indistinct rock in the wilderness like so many other hills and mountains, completely ordinary looking. There was nothing special about it. Mount Horeb became Mount Sinai, the mountain of God, simply because God chose it, not because it was taller, mightier or holier than any of the surrounding hills and mountains.

-from “Ordinary Life” the Torah Club commentary on Shemot
First Fruits of Zion (FFOZ)

This topic pops up periodically in Christian circles, usually in response to a question such as:

How could God use me for anything? I’m no one special. I’m just an ordinary person with an ordinary life.

Another part of the answer goes like this:

Most of us do not regard ourselves as extraordinary people. You probably think of yourself as a fairly ordinary person with a fairly mundane life. From God’s perspective, that is perfect. You are the perfect person with whom He can do extraordinary things. He is not looking for prophets; He is looking for normal people who are carrying on under normal circumstances.

Frankly, I’d be elated to live an ordinary and mundane life perfectly or even just reasonably within the bounds of God’s expectations. I don’t have to be Moses. I don’t want to be Moses. I am unworthy to be anything like Moses. I just want to be “me” but a better “me” than I am today.

Teshuvah within an “ordinary life” is a lot of hard work with no guarantee that life will get immediately better even upon turning away from sin. An “extraordinary” life seems exhausting by comparison.

Of course with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) but God is God and I’m just me.

When I became chief rabbi, I had to undergo a medical examination. The doctor put me on a treadmill, walking at a very brisk pace. “What are you testing?” I asked him. “How fast I can go, or how long?” “Neither,” he replied. “What I am testing is how long it takes, when you come off the treadmill, for your pulse to return to normal.” That is when I discovered that health is measured by the power of recovery. That is true for everyone, but doubly so for leaders and for the Jewish people, a nation of leaders (that, I believe, is what the phrase “a kingdom of priests” means).

-Rabbi Jonathan Sacks
“Light in Dark Times”
Chabad.org

Man alonePart how I measure my physical health is how quickly my heart rate recovers after a cardio workout. However, that principle can be applied to a completely different context. How quickly a person recovers after a major failure in making teshuvah and restoring relationships with God and people is also a measure of health.

Of course, there could be a problem:

Question: What if the person to whom you want to apologize won’t speak to you?

Answer: Here is what Maimonides writes on the matter:

If his colleague does not desire to forgive him, he should bring a group of three of his friends and approach him with them and request [forgiveness]. If [the wronged party] is not appeased, he should repeat the process a second and third time. If he [still] does not want [to forgive him], he may let him alone and need not pursue [the matter further]. On the contrary, the person who refuses to grant forgiveness is the one considered as the sinner.

-Rabbi Menachem Posner
Comments from the article:
“Teshuvah — Repentance”
Chabad.org

While facing God with your sin and asking for forgiveness as part of true teshuvah is daunting, we have certain promises in the Bible that God will indeed forgive us of our sin, cleansing us and making us white as snow (Psalm 51:7). However, with the people we have hurt, they are quite likely, at least initially, to react with blame, anger, and rejection.

In Rabbi Posner’s comment above citing Maimonides, we should repeatedly approach the offended party and continue to ask for their forgiveness. However, there is a limit as to how many times we are expected to extend ourselves and, at least from the Rambam’s point of view, anyone who refuses to forgive a true Baal Teshuvah is considered a sinner themselves.

Not that this is much help if you’re trying to repair relationships.

Every prayer of the heart is answered. It’s the packaging that doesn’t always meet our taste.

Maamar Vayigash Elav 5725, 6—based on a statement of the Baal Shem Tov, Keter Shem Tov.
Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
“Bad Packaging”
Chabad.org

Yes, we can pray for a positive outcome, and as Rabbi Freeman says, God answers all prayers, but the “packaging,” that is, exactly how God answers the prayers, may not be what we desired or hoped for.

Hearken and hear Israel (Devarim 27:9), this is the time marked for the redemption by Mashiach. The sufferings befalling us are the birth-pangs of Mashiach. Israel will be redeemed only through teshuva (Jerusalem Talmud, Taanit I:1). Have no faith in the false prophets who assure you of glories and salvation after the War (Note that this was during the early 1940’s). Remember the word of G-d, “Cursed is the man who puts his trust in man, who places his reliance for help in mortals, and turns his heart from G-d” (Yirmiyahu 17:5). Return Israel unto the Eternal your G-d (Hoshei’a 14:2); prepare yourself and your family to go forth and receive Mashiach, whose coming is imminent.

-from “Today’s Day” for Wednesday, Tevet 15, 5703
Compiled by the Lubavitcher Rebbe; Translated by Yitschak Meir Kagan
Chabad.org

praying aloneThis is heralding a very extraordinary time that will lead to the ultimate redemption of Israel and the nations, but in the meantime, there are still many mundane matters we all struggle with. I find it hard to always pray for the return of the Master when all I really want is to be successful in teshuvah, for God to grant me mercy and forgiveness, and for His Spirit to soften the hearts of those who have been hurt so they will be moved to mercy and forgiveness.

May God grant this to all of us, for who hasn’t failed?

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He Who Fashions Our Hearts

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Rambam cites the verse in Tehillim (33:15) as proof of this principle: “He who fashions all their hearts together, Who comprehends all their deeds.” According to Radak (Tehillim ibid.), this verse is explaining why Hashem has the power to see into men’s hearts; because He alone fashioned them, He alone has the ability to truly understand them.

-from “A Closer Look at the Siddur,” p.15
Monday’s Commentary for Parashas Shemos
A Daily Dose of Torah

I’ve always wondered just how much of human behavior God understands. After all, people can be afraid, but God is never afraid. People can be selfish, but God is never selfish. People can be weak, but God is never weak. How can God understand all of our faults and foibles when He has none of His own?

Of course, I always thought this was the answer:

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

–Hebrews 4:15-16 (NASB)

That covers Yeshua (Jesus) understanding what it’s like to be tempted. The Master may not have sinned, but he did know what it was to be weak, put upon, exhausted, in need of help and comfort:

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He then became hungry.

Then Jesus said to him, “Go, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.’” Then the devil left Him; and behold, angels came and began to minister to Him.

–Matthew 4:1-2, 10-11

The Master even said this:

And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray, saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” Now an angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him.

–Luke 22:41-43

These are very human words uttered by our Master in prayer to the Father. I wonder if he was afraid? I wouldn’t blame him if he were. Here too he needed help, and again, an angel come to comfort or “strengthen” him.

We always assume it was physically impossible for Jesus to sin but strictly speaking is that true? I mean, it’s not really a temptation unless there’s the possibility of giving in. It’s not a true victory unless you have overcome failure. I think the Master endured these things in part to show us that we can be tempted and overcome as well, even though we are broken down, faulty, lame, miserable human flesh.

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

–1 Corinthians 10:13

This was one of the first verses I was encouraged to learn when I professed my faith many years ago, and I thought Paul was being rather smug and arrogant. Sure, it’s easy for him to say that God will provide a way of escape so we can endure temptation and not sin, but it certainly didn’t (and often still doesn’t) seem obvious to me which way led out of temptation.

father and sonBut going back to the first quote above, it never occurred to me before that God understands us completely because God made us, even though He is perfect and we are imperfect, even though He is immortal and we are passing away like grass in a blast furnace. I wonder if that’s why there are so many human-like metaphors for describing God in the Bible, not because He has a face, or arms, or hands, or breath, but so that we can, on some shallow level, relate to Him, even as He completely and totally understands us.

A person is constantly beset by warring impulses. Sometimes, he will succeed and triumph over his evil impulses; other times he may fail and succumb to his baser urges. To the human observer, this behavior may seem random and inconsistent. But Hashem “fashions all their hearts together;” He alone knows of the many components that make up a person’s mind and heart. Thus, it is possible for Him to “comprehend all of their deeds.”

I don’t think this means that God approves of all of our deeds, but He does understand, and hopefully, feels compassion for all of His children, including you and me.

Moreover, we must not overlook one of the profound principles of Judaism. There is something which is far greater than my desire to pray, namely, God’s desire that I pray. There is something which is far greater than my will to believe, namely, God’s will that I believe. How insignificant is the outpouring of my soul in the midst of this great universe! Unless it is the will of God that I pray, unless God desires prayer (See Exodus Rabba, 21, 5; Midrash Tehillim, 5, 7.), how ludicrous is all my praying.

-Abraham Joshua Heschel
“The Separation of Church and God,” p.58
Man’s Quest for God: Studies in Prayer and Symbolism

On the following page, Heschel wrote, “To live without prayer is to live without God, to live without a soul.”

At the heart of doing teshuvah, of repenting and returning to God, is prayer. While the seven points of doing teshuvah I posted at the top of this blog post make it seem as if teshuvah is largely a matter of exercising intellect and will, in fact even our ability to make the first step, to regret and be ashamed of our sins, is because God created us with an awareness of Him; we are made in His likeness.

Prayer is a requirement of repentance, for without God how can man repent at all, how can he turn away from evil and turn toward God and make a life-altering, permanent decision to abandon the way he previously walked?

But in the agony of teshuvah, being torn away from one life and struggling to achieve another, it’s easy to drown in prayers of petition to the point of begging.

But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” And Jesus said to him, “‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.”

–Mark 9:22-24

From God we need all of the building blocks necessary to make teshuvah, then we need help putting them together, and then we need help doing everything else we are responsible for doing to return to Hashem.

In the middle of all that, where do we find the will and the strength to praise Him?

For to Thee Lord our God, God of our fathers, are due songs and praise, hymn and psalm, power and dominion, victory, grandeur, might, homage, beauty, holiness, kingship, blessings, thanksgiving

-from the daily liturgy
quoted in Heschel, p.64

prayerWe can’t “flatter” God into responding to our requests and He certainly doesn’t need us to praise Him because He lacks anything, but as Heschel said before, we pray not because our prayers are powerful or worthy, but because God desires that we pray, and I might add, for our own sakes. For we need God more than He needs us, if He needs anything at all. God is waiting only for us to whisper our tiny prayers to Him so He can call out and draw us to Him.

As much as the human soul yearns to rise up and merge within the light of its Creator, so much more so does the Infinite Creator yearn to be found within the human soul.

If so, what force could stand between them? What could hold back the Creator’s infinite light?

Only His desire that this union occur with our consent, that we be the ones to crack open the door.

“Open for me just as wide as a pinhole,” G‑d pleads with us, “and I will open for you a vast, unbounded portal to My very core of being.”

-Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
“Open for Me”
Chabad.org

I know I’ve quoted this before but it’s a good quote. A number of people commented on these words (click the link above to read the comments) including someone named Harley A:

And 12-Step groups call this “Willingness.”
Wow – I keep seeing how the 12-step recovery coincides with Judaism, it is beautiful.

Someone named Ezra commented:

When G-d created the world he did it with the attributes of Mercy and Justice (female and male qualities). And if you look in Genesis 1:27 you see again that G-d created us in His image (male and female).

G-d made everything with its opposite, up down , left right front back, day night. We can not have one without the other, that’s just how G-d made everything.

We need the Shechina simple because without her, our lives would not only be incomplete but also out of balance. We would only know G-d as a god of vengeance and never have that opportunity to repent. That would be frightening. When G-d remembered our frailty He even gave us cities of refuge. HE IS SO GOOD!!

Enjoy His Sabbath and rest a while with Her.

Life is difficult. We are all fighting a hard battle every single day. God does not desire that we fight this battle alone. If we cry out to Him, if we repent, if we pray for the strength to repent and the endurance to see it through, He will respond in an instant, whether we’re always aware of it or not, and rescue us, and even if we aren’t aware of that either, we will merit a place in the resurrection in the Kingdom of Heaven where our sure reward is waiting:

“…and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”

–Revelation 21:4

Yes, Lord come. Maranatha.

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In the Matter of True Teshuvah

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Chovos HaLevavos lists seven things of which a sinner must be cognizant if he is to attain true teshuvah.

  1. He must be regretful and ashamed of his evil behavior.
  2. He must know that the deed was wrong, and recognize the wickedness of his act.
  3. He must know that Hashem is aware of his misdeed and that punishment (without forgiveness) is inevitable.
  4. He must understand that teshuvah is the cure that he requires.
  5. He should make an accounting of all the good that Hashem has done for him.
  6. He must contrast this with his own disobedience, and use it as a spur to his resolve not to sin further.
  7. He must take concrete steps to avoid sinning again.

One who undertakes to satisfy these requirements can attain true teshuvah.

-from “A Mussar Thought for the Day,” p.192
Tuesday’s commentary on Parashas Vayechi
A Daily Dose of Torah

“One who undertakes to satisfy these requirements can attain true teshuvah.”

True teshuvah.

I’ve written a lot about repentance, both in the past and more recently. But it’s something that’s difficult to maintain and easy to neglect, thus my mind and heart have drifted off into other topics lately.

But it’s as if God were “programming” my study materials to remind me and bring me back on course:

No enslavement and no tyranny are as ruthless and as demanding as slavery to physical desires and passions. Someone who is unable to resist a craving, and who must, like a brute beast, do whatever the body demands, is more profoundly enslaved than someone subject to a human tyrant. Addicted people are an extreme example of those who have become slaves to their bodies.

Dignity comes from freedom, in the capacity to make free choices, and hence, in our ability to refuse to submit to physical desires when our judgment indicates that doing so is wrong. Freedom from domination by the body is the first step toward spiritual growth.”

-Rabbi Abraham J. Twersky
from “Growing Each Day” for Tevet 8
Aish.com

PrisonAs Rabbi Twersky suggests, we each choose our own prison, but often, when attempting to make teshuvah and overcome a lifetime of error and disobedience, it seems as if you’re perpetually making a prison break. It can be very discouraging.

But then again…

In our Yom Kippur prayers, we say, “until the day of [a person’s] death, He waits for him; if he repents, He will accept him immediately.” This prayer reveals the tremendous mercy that Hashem shows toward his creations. A person may have been a sinner his entire life, doing evil constantly without regard for Hashem or His Torah. As his life is coming to an end, when he does not even have strength left to sin, he contemplates his future, and repents of his past. Surely this is a less than perfect teshuvah! Yet Hashem not only will accept it, He does so immediately, without reservation. As we say elsewhere in the Yom Kippur prayers, “we are filled with iniquity, but You are filled with mercy.”

-from “A Closer Look at the Siddur,” p.195
Tuesday’s commentary on Parashas Vayechi
A Daily Dose of Torah

This isn’t an excuse to wait for the last moment to repent, but rather is it encouragement and hope that no matter how long you have been buried in habitual sin, and no matter how far you have fallen, and no matter how distant you are from God, you can return and He will accept true teshuvah immediately.

But as we saw above, “true teshuvah” is no small thing. As I’ve said previously, it is hardly a matter of just saying “I’m sorry” and then it’s all good. Teshuvah is a life-changing event, and well it should be. It is turning your life around completely and starting off in a brand new direction, the polar opposite of the path you previously trod.

But we can’t do it alone. Without God, no one of us has the will to completely subdue our evil inclination and to make true teshuvah.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.

–Psalm 51:10-12 (NASB)

I’m sure you recognize this as part of David’s sincere plea to God for forgiveness for the multiple and heinous willful sins he committed in the matter of Bathsheba. There is no sacrifice in the Temple for willful sin, and the only sacrifice that is acceptable before God for such sins is “a broken spirit and a broken and a contrite heart” (verse 17).

And this is exactly what God is waiting for from each of us:

As we pray each day, the knowledge that Hashem is not wrathful or vengeful, but is rather a merciful God Who desires our sincere repentance, should act as a powerful stimulant, giving us the fortitude to mend our ways and live our lives as servants of Hashem.

-“A Closer Look at the Siddur,” ibid

But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;
I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.
I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it,
And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.

–Psalm 52:8-9

PrayerIn the Days of Awe surrounding Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the shofar blast is meant to be something of a “wake up call” from God to the Jewish people to repent, for time is short. But actually we can repent at an moment, and God will listen and be merciful. However, this happens only if we’re diligent and serious about teshuvah, about turning around and returning to Him. We all must answer the call and answer today and everyday.

Amen.

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Chanukah and the Light of Love

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“Rav Avraham Pam (former Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Torah Vodaas) teaches us that we see this special love of God for the whole Jewish people even though many had defected to Hellenism and then returned to Torah observance with the triumph of the Macabees. When a couple reconciles after a separation, the relationship often becomes one of peaceful coexistence, but the quality of love that they initially had for each other is rarely restored.

“Not so when Jews do teshuvah (repentance — returning to the Almighty and to ways of the Torah). Rambam says that although a sinful person distances himself from God, once he does teshuvah he is near, beloved and dear to God. It is not that God “tolerates” the baal teshuvah (returnee), but rather that He loves him as He would the greatest tzaddik (righteous person). As the prophet says, “I will remember for you the loving-kindness of your youth, when you followed Me into the desert, into a barren land” (Jeremiah 2:2). The love of yore is fully restored.

“This is the significance of the miracle of the oil. It teaches us that with proper teshuvah our relationship with God is restored, as if we had never sinned.

“This is also the message of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph did not simply forgive them and suppress his resentment for their abuse of him. Rather, he loved them and cared for them as if nothing had happened, telling them that he feels toward them as he does to Benjamin, who was not involved in his kidnapping (Rashi, Genesis 45:12).

“The celebration of Chanukah is, therefore, more than the commemoration of a miracle. We are to emulate the Divine attributes (Talmud, Shabbos 133b). Just as when God forgives, His love for us is completely restored — so must we be able to restore the love for one another when we mend our differences.

“As we watch the Chanukah candles, let us think about the light they represent: the bright light of a love that is completely restored!”

-Rabbi Kalman Packouz
from Shabbat Shalom Weekly for
Torah Portion Mikeitz
Aish.com

I apologize for the rather lengthy quote from Rabbi Packouz’s article, but it very much speaks to my continuing theme of sin, repentance, and return and also happens to be appropriate as a missive for this third day of Chanukah (as you read this).

One of the great difficulties in making lasting teshuvah (repentance or return to God) is the feeling of being “damaged goods”. Assuming everything R. Packouz wrote in the above-quoted passage is true about God, we still have to face, on a human level, how other people often find it difficult to receive the repentant sinner as if he or she had never sinned. Also, you or I can still feel “dirty” in our sins as we sincerely strive to repent, even though, according to the prophet, our “…sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool” (Isaiah 1:18 NASB).

Yes, the good Rabbi is talking about Jewish repentance in his write-up, but by the merit of our Rav, Messiah Yeshua, we also are allowed to repent, turn away from our sins, and return to our God. In this I believe we too will be treated as if we had never sinned. Otherwise, we have no hope.

love-in-lightsAlthough Chanukah commemorates a specific event and miracle exclusive to the Jewish people, it has applications for the rest of us. If the lights of the Chanukah candles can represent “the bright light of a love that is completely restored” between a Jew and his God, it can have the same meaning for all of the non-Jewish disciples of the Master.

The Apostle Paul was quite clear that repentance, atonement, and forgiveness were accessible to Jew and Gentile alike through trust in the accomplished works of Messiah.

Concerning Paul’s declaration of the blessings of Messiah at the synagogue in Pisidian Antioch:

When the Gentiles heard this, they began rejoicing and glorifying the word of the Lord; and as many as had been appointed to eternal life believed. And the word of the Lord was being spread through the whole region.

–Acts 13:48-49

And our Master himself said:

“I say to you that many will come from east and west, and recline at the table with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.”

–Matthew 8:11

My family lights the Chanukah menorah for eight nights in our home because my wife and children are Jewish. But if, Heaven forbid, something should happen and I found myself living alone, I could certainly see a continued application in my kindling the Chanukah lights for the sake of the Light of the World (John 8:12).

Chag Sameach Chanukah.